Last week, we posted our review of Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa and claimed that it just might be the best comedy of the year. And with great comedies, I like to post some of the very best lines to come out of them in these top 5 quotes thingymajigs. But allow me to tell you, this was by far the hardest one I’ve written, thus far, as I believe that we could easily have posted a top 50 quotes and every one would have been merited. Anyway, without further adieu, here are the top 5 quotes that I settled on after much deliberation…
5 – Irving: “My Spanish name is El Mucho Ding Dong.”
Ah, ol’ Irving Zisman is nothing if he isn’t a ladies man and this is his pick-up line of choice when encountering a young, Hispanic lady. Needless to say, Irving’s straight-forward approach doesn’t yield much success.
4 – Irving: “Nope! If I was fixing it you’d see me fixing it but did you notice how I wasn’t fixing it?”
After running over, and partially destroying, a giant penguin outside a restaurant, this is the sass that one member of staff gets in return for telling Irving “You’re going to fix that penguin, Bro!” To this day, the penguin has yet to be fixed… I assume.
3 - Irving: “I may be too old to stir the gravy but I can still lick the ladle.”
Once again, Irving tries (and fails) with a younger lady by diving straight in at the deep end with this hilarious, yet rather disturbing, quote. As much as I love Mr. Zisman, it makes me a little prouder of the human race that nobody fell for this line.
2 - Billy: “I’ll just call you Cinnamon.”
Oh dear lord, that kid has balls. After going looking for his Grandpa in an adult book store, Billy gets help from one of the clerks only to assume that she’s a stripper. And when she declines to tell him her “stripper name” Billy decides to choose his own for her and opts for Cinammon. Wow.
1 – Irving: “My wife died of Vagitosis, it’s kind of like bad breath but of the vagina.”
Coming really early on in the film, there are so many factors that make this quote great. Firstly, how does anyone’s mind go to a place and come back with “Vagitosis?” Secondly, Johnny Knoxville actually said these words to another human being and, lastly, that human being didn’t just die of laughter right there, on the spot. Seriously? This was by far, the best quote in Bad Grandpa.
Now, after reading the 5 sickest, crudest, most disgusting quotes from Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, you should probably go for a shower and clean off all the residue. Then you should come back to VersusTheScreen and let us know your favourite quotes in the comments section down below. Or you could tweety tweet us on Twitter @versusthescreen. Bye!